Start of school year 2012-2013--1 senior and 1 second grader

Last week we went out for our traditonal 1st day of school dinner at Red Lobster.  We haven't done that since Isaac started going to public school in 2009.  But, since he is back home again for his senior year we decided to celebrate this new yet familiar journey. 

(that's rootbeer by the way--Lucas only "looks" drunk...lol)

 My 2 favorite students

 The Senior

 The 2nd grader

Just a little explanation of what Isaac is currently doing since we have some friends reading this that are wondering what this is all about.
We have Isaac enrolled in something called College Plus.  It is a program that will allow him to complete his senior year in high school through our homeschool at the same time he is beginning college level coursework.  You can see more about it here but it is a very cool totally above board program that is very exciting for him.  He is working very independently and loves the freedom it offers him.  Check out the website if you are interested in details.
www.collegeplus.org

Mr. Second Grader is starting out this school year in a much better place than last year.  I remember the first days of last year and how I couldn't get him to sit still at all and he didn't even know colors and as he learned numbers he always skipped the number 15.  This year we are already starting out reading simple words, adding numbers, telling time, counting money, doing social studies, science, copywork and much more.  It's great to see his progress and I'm curious to see where he is this time next year.

So welcome to school guys!

Our God is Mighty To Save

I can't go into too much detail but yesterday was a hard day again, and it started with school "again".  This is getting old.  I'm not mad at Lucas, but I'm done with him thinking he is inadequate to the task.  He has been doing quite well, but yesterday, when we sat down to do some "copywork" which is part of our routine now, he lost it.  I gave him 2 sentences instead of just one which I know he is fully capable of doing.  This was a step up from what we had been doing, so it seemed the "impossible" task.
"You just want to make me hard work"
"I can't do that"
the lies continued.

and thus the meltdown began.
You might say, "just let the assignment go"  "Is it worth it?"  But, yes in this case it was, because he needs to understand he might have things that "look" hard, but really are not impossible for him and to stretch himself and that he is fully capable.  And seriously it was 2 sentences.  Not a "book".  

Without going into too much detail.  Things cycled and got ugly and we spent over an hour walking through the ick again.
This time?
He decided to throw shoes and other things at me.
That was "fun".
Eventually he went for the spiritual attack.
And the words he used were Ugly.  He had a complete flip in his heart and started calling on "Satan" to help him and condemn Jesus, etc.  I think that part was the hardest for me to watch.  I remained calm but I also went to "battle"---not physically but spiritually.

I opened up some Bible passages and spoke them louder than he was yelling the other stuff.  I pleaded the "blood of Jesus" over him and "The Name of Jesus" and verse upon verse to get rid of this evil in our house.  I prayed prayers of release for him.  I prayed and prayed and spoke scripture over him.

That may sound crazy to some.  But, the reality was I was facing some ginormous forces yesterday.  And the only "weapon" in my arsenol was the Word of God!

I finally stepped away from him for a little while and went downstairs to our small bathroom.  And I texted to Peter what was going on and asked for prayer.  When Lucas came down, it was as if that prayer request was being answered immediately!!! Peter said he began praying as soon as he got the text.

I came out of the bathroom and he was apologetic.
Then I sat in front of him and he looked at me and said "Something is changing" (I never used the word "change" with him during all of this)
"Something inside me is changing and I don't know what"
"Something is different".
And his whole demeanor was relaxing.  I told him it was Jesus.  Jesus was changing his insides and making him feel better.  We talked for a while about all of that and how Jesus can heal his broken heart.

Shortly after that, he started singing "Our God is Mighty to Save!"

Here it is on a youtube video...

The funny thing is...we don't sing that song very often at our church.  He has heard it on the radio, but he was singing almost all the words and over and over and over again for the rest of the day.  In the car,  around the house, while playing... He could not get the tune/music/heart of the song out of his head.  He sang nothing else all day long.  He had all of us humming it and singing it as he stumbled over a few of the words once in a while.  Even Isaac joined in and helped him through some of the words while we were on our way to dinner last night.

You really need to look at those lyrics to see how God was speaking to him

"Mighty To Save"

Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that I believe in
Now I surrender
Yes I surrender

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory of the risen King
Jesus,
Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory of the risen King

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Your my Savior
You can move the mountains
God You are mighty to save
You are mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
You rose and conquered the grave
Yes you conquered the grave

You are mighty to save

OUR GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE!!!! and we believe it as truth in this house!  And I witnessed it first hand Yesterday!
Will we have more bumps and kinks and stumble again? sure...but We know where the Power comes from!  Satan don't mess with my kids....you ain't winnin'!
And our song will remain...He Can Move Mountains!

"stop touching my legs"

Today we went to a huge Christian music event here in the Altanta area called Celebrate Freedom.  I'm not quite sure how they manage this but it is FREE! So it is an awesome opportunity to see some great music and enjoy some fun.  Although I must say we still managed to spend money because there are fun things to do and there is food to eat (can't bring anything in with you).

As we were standing in line for the "hampster ball" with Lucas, a little asian girl came up from behind me and went right up to Lucas's feet and started touching them and asking questions about his feet.  He was caught off guard and freaked out a bit.  He pulled back and said, "stop touching me".  It didn't take long for me to notice there was something sweet and unique about this little girl.  I turned around and saw her "non asian" momma.  And we got into a conversation.  The little girl was also adopted from China and was 9 years old.  She was brought home when she was about 2.  But, her mom was sure to mention right away that she had autism.  I kind of figured it was something like that, but either way, it didn't seem to really matter to Lucas, because her repeated attempts to keep touching him were causing him to pull back and kind of get assertive with her and tell her to back off.  I could see he didn't understand autism.  We have never run into that before.
This brings up an interesting thing about him.  He will do the exact things to "others" that he is not a real fan of having done to him.  He will stare at people with birth marks and ask questions.  Or if someone is in a wheel chair he wants to know what is wrong.  Or if they have other things he doesn't understand he asks a lot of questions.  This is what makes me think he doesn't think his legs/feet are really that big of a deal or worthy of people's questions or stares.

Withink moments the little girl started with the repeated questioning.  "Why are your feet plastic?"  "What happened to your feet?"  He did NOT want to answer her.  And I asked if I could answer her.  He said, "no".  So I respected that and did not.  But, I did keep suggesting that if he just told her she would probably stop and leave him alone.
Eventually, I just pulled him aside and tried to explain why she was doing what she was doing, and he got it.  When we went back to the line, he let me tell her he had surgery because he had little feet and missing bones.  She was somewhat satisfied with it but she continued more questioning.  The mom was great with her and tried to encourage her to leave him alone, but she would still reach out once in a while and just toucn them.   He got a little frustrated, but more patient over time.

It was and interesting interaction because it was one of the first times I've seen Lucas pull back from someone.  And he was also unwilling to tell his story (at first).   There's a revelation and perhaps vulnerablity that he doesn't really want people to know.  I honestly think he doesn't see it as all that different sometimes.  He is so happy he has 5 toes, that he can't imagine why any of this makes him unique.  Moments like this however, point it out as being so different.  I know this isn't the last time things like this are going to happen.  But, it was a bit of a reality check because we really don't deal with it in such a confrontative way.
Personally, I'd rather have her do what she did.  I'm sure 100 other kids have wondered the same thing, but have been hushed by their parents to not say anything.  In fact there was one person sort of behind us that I didn't look at---who was carrying a small boy around 4 maybe?? that was asking questions and the mom was saying "shhhhhh" "that's just the way he is"....etc.  It's so hard to know what you "should" do and teach your kids because each family and person deals with it differently.
I remember, before we brought Lucas home and I saw a boy on a beach with one leg like Lucas's were going to be.  I was so excited that I ran over to them at their beach towel and started talking with the mom.  The boy was 11 though.  And she said he had become more self conscious about it and he probably would not talk to us about it.  But, she did.   He was off running across the beach and swimming.  It amazed me.  She answered a lot of questions for us.
So, do I have all the answers as to what you "should" do or "shouldn't do" when you see a "Lucas" on the street or on the beach? probably not.  But, if you see US?  Just ask!  I will ask Lucas if I can tell his story and we will go from there.  How's that for a deal?  I LOVE to tell his story, but now...I ask first. (well most of the time).  I would however recommend you don't just come up to him and start touching his legs...cuz you may hear "Stop touching my legs" from the boy!  =)

tommy

There is a man in our neighborhood named Tommy.
He is a kind middle aged African American man who puts on his uniform for the local Publix grocery store and walks about 2 miles or so to work almost everyday.
We have seen him walking in cold and heat and rain and blazing sun.

And I do have to admit, on more than one occassion we have stopped to pick him up and take him to work or bring him home.

Tommy is a sweet man.  He is very friendly and conversational.

Lucas tends to ask Tommy a lot of questions.

But, our conversations have stayed "surfacy" at best.

Today, I was in a hurry to get Lucas to baseball practice.  Tommy was walking to work.  He was right at our driveway walking by. Lucas noticed him.
He said, "We should give Tommy a ride to work."
This is where I have to admit...I didn't think we had time.  Or maybe it was that I didn't want to make the time.  As we pulled out of the driveway, and headed out, I could NOT pass Tommy!!!!
We stopped!  We asked Tommy if he wanted a ride.

Lucas was excited.
And the line of questioning began for the next 5 minutes we spent together in the car.  Tommy started to share that he used to live in Florida and he moved here with his mom but he doesn't have a car.  He wants to get a car, but he doesn't have one.  Lucas asked him his age, and he is only a few years younger than me.  I thought he was much younger.  Then as we sat at a stoplight, Tommy, who usually is pretty cheerful, sort of stared off into space and shared that his ex was getting married today. (Lucas didn't quite catch that part of the story).  He said he doesn't like it here because all he does is go to work, come home, watch TV, go and work out, and get up the next day and do it again.  (He is a bagger at the store)  He also started talking about how he doesn't have any friends here.  There was saddness in Tommy today.  There was an unusual pensiveness to him.

He mentioned he doesn't have a church, but he would like to go to church.
Then Lucas came right out and asked him.
"Tommy, do you believe in Jesus?"
Tommy said, "yes".
Lucas was happy about that.
I began to see the opportunity God had laid out for us today.  And I almost missed it because I was in a hurry.  Tommy needs connection.

We invited him to come to church with us on Sunday if he wanted to.
He said he would check his schedule at work, but he might work on Sunday.
We are going to be pursuing Tommy and his desire to get back to church and reconnect with people.

After we dropped him off I told Lucas I was proud of him and how much he cares for Tommy.  And that we need to always ask ourselves, "What would Jesus say or do if he was riding in the car with us?"  This reminded me of a sermon Louie recently had regarding how we "walk" with Christ daily and moment by moment.  He is beside us walking.  In all things at all times.  It takes intentionality to remember that.  Why?  I have been a Christian for all of my conscious life, but I still need to be reminded to walk as if Christ is walking with me.  Right beside me. Really, physically present with me.  How does this change what I do or how I treat people?  Is there anyone not worthy of my time, effort, or even simply conversation?  How would Jesus see Tommy?  Then that is how I will see him. I think Jesus loves Tommy.  I think Jesus wants Tommy to know him at even a deeper level.  I think Jesus put Tommy into our lives so Lucas could be used by God to show Tommy he is loved and we will care for him.

So that's the story of Tommy so far.
Please pray together with us for Tommy--his sweet heart is obviously broken and lonely.  Pray we do what God calls us to do.

"Give me my legs back"

Sometimes brothers play baseball.
Sometimes they shoot bow and arrow or bb guns together.
Sometimes they wrestle.
Today, my boys did all three and it was great to see them playing together.
It is definitely an advantage for an 8 year old boy to have a 17 year old brother with experience in all these areas.
Sometimes these things can be exceptionally entertaining at our house.
Just a few minutes ago, they were wrestling.  Lucas was being "The Hulk".  Isaac was messin' with him.  And being the Older brother, he was "on top".

At one point, Isaac grabbed Lucas by the legs and tried lifting him up.
Which, would be ok, if his legs were actually "attached".....
but, they slipped right off and Isaac ran off with them.

So what's a mom to do in this moment? Yell at Isaac?..."Give your brother his legs back?"

So add this to another list of "the things I never thought I would hear said in my house"....

"Give me my legs back!!!!!!"

Both Isaac and I looked at eachother and laughed, and then even though he was still yelling at Isaac, Lucas joined in the laughter as he took off running after his brother with no legs on!  I'm sorry but it was really funny! It did make Lucas mad at first, but he also laughed, so I don't think I'm too bad of a parent this time....

...am I??

All Tied up and other "fun" for today...

sooooo, today I left Lucas up in his room for a while after we were done with school.  

He was playing so nicely...and it was so quiet....

then I found him like this!!!!

(he really was alone the whole time)

but apparently a bad guy showed up while I was gone!

I have no idea how he really did this to himself---but was a funny sight.

Then, after I removed all of that tape...he told me to be the "bad guy" and tie him up again.  He was cracking up!  Really...there are times when a parent feels like maybe they want to do this to a crazy child, but this really wasn't one of those times..really, it was a game...really!!!

 he made me do it...he said "put some around my eyes"..."put some around my mouth"
again...really...just a game...lol
Although I do think Buddy the dog was a tad concerned...

Later when that event was over...
I took pictures of his "office" set up in our living room.

 and his handmade "Caution" tape.  Now here's the funny part.  He found some caution tape that someone had given him with the word in Spanish!!!  So he copied it ... Cuidado without knowing it was Spanish...So we have Spanish Caution tape at our house!

 Of course the police had it all under control!

 and Buddy the dog got some love...(sort of random, but cute)

Welcome to life at our house...

warm milk and peanut butter crackers

This whole weekend really was a tad crazy and full for Lucas.  Yesterday baseball practice, a birthday party, swimming for 2 hours, out to dinner with dad and Isaac, and back to the party for a little while.  Today, back to church and all the amazingness of Passion Kids, seeing friends again, and then an amazing birthday party for a friend who just came home from China about 3 months ago.  A total blast but nonstop motion and activity.
Today food was a bit weird--cereal in the morning, a hotdog for lunch, a piece of cake and a McDonald's hamburger.  Really, for this boy, probably not enough food.  But, he didn't say he was hungry until of course it came to bedtime.

Now, bedtime has become a bit of a testing area again recently because we got lazy again.  We started laying down with him again after reading stories---argh!  I actually think it amounts to laziness and sleepiness on my part...and...do I have to admit I love to cuddle?  But, then at some point it becomes annoying because I fall asleep and have to wake up and go into my own bed--disrupting my sleep and also creating a dependence on having someone laying with him.  It also creates a problem for us ever leaving him at bedtime to go someplace.  He can't adjust to someone else putting him to bed very well.

So, we have pulled that plug "again"! Hopefully for the last time, but we will see...
Routine:
story or two
prayer
sleep (without anyone laying down)
check on him ocassionally just for security for him.

Tonight we had the "I can't sleep" and checking several times on him to make sure he was sleeping, etc.  Finally, after 20 minutes he said "I'm hungry".  I had 2 thoughts in that moment and choices as to how I was going to respond.  1.  Am I being manipulated?  and thus discipline this situation and say "no"?  or  2.  Listen, and feed the child. (think through his day and evening and realize food was a tad unbalanced today)

Now, I catch myself in these moments because:
1.  I have told him to tell me when he is hungry so we can avoid meltdowns
2.  He has told us that when he was "bad" in China they made him skip meals. (that makes me mad)
3.  I promised him that if he "ever" tells me he is hungry, I will feed him (if at all possible)

So,  again, in this moment I have to evaluate-- Am I being manipulated? or Is he really trying to tell me something?  He added to his hunger statement by saying he was feeling frustrated and feeling like he might get angry.  That actually is a huge step for him.  Identifying the hunger, irritation about falling asleep, and realizing he could escalate at any moment.

We had no fighting or tears tonight.  It wasn't a meltdown, but I felt like if I didn't listen to him, and follow through with my promise to feed him, that I would be creating a bigger problem than if he was truly manipulating me.

There are some things that I need to see from a different perspective than I used to.  I can't always walk around with suspicion that I'm being manipulated.  I want him to use his words and I want him to always be able to trust me/us that we will supply for him what he needs, especially food.  We have never had hoarding issues or hiding food issues, etc. with him which is a good thing and actually quite common with kids from orphanages.  But, the discipline he received by forcing him to skip meals makes me want to respond to his requests for food.

So, at 10:15pm...I got a glass of milk--warmed it in the microwave, put peanut butter on a few Ritz crackers and took them to him in his room.  I didn't want to make it into a meal.  But, a little protein, a few carbs and the 'magic milk'... and tada....
I didn't really think much more about it, but right after that he did fall asleep immediately.

When I went to lay down in my own bed, I reflected on his response to it.  He had such a sweet smile for me, hugs, kisses and then a tender memory.  Months ago when we were struggling with some sleep issues like this, I told him that my daddy used to give me warm milk to help me fall asleep--and since he is now "gone" this makes me think of him.  Well, tonight he remembered that story.  And he got the sweetest smile about my daddy.  A man he never met.  It was another connection for him to his grandpa.  And I could tell it brought sweetness and calmness and gentleness to his little soul tonight.  It was like my dad was helping us...
How could I deny that to him? but more importantly, Why would I deny that to him?
He's at a place where he is beginning to identify hunger, verbalize some of his feelings, and just be so stinkin' cute and loving at times.  My job is simple...
warm milk and peanut butter crackers.  I think I can do that.