So weird really.
I don't think about it everyday, yet I think I carry him with me everyday. Is that possible?
I was thinking about his sweet young life yesterday and what an honor it was to be his momma. Oh my goodness he was a huge boy and full of life and craziness. Stubborn, yet loving and helpful. Here is just a little view of our precious boy's short life....
4 months old
(right around 19 lbs I think)
about 5 days post surgery/diagnosis
about to start treatment
almost 5 years old
midway through treatment
age 5 1/2
Daddy shaved his head so they could be
Disney Make A Wish Cruise
lost his first tooth on the Disney Cruise =)
hittin' the waves (a tad chilly)
Can I just say Cancer Sucks?
Yet, we know that in and through it all God was working. Never once did we feel forsaken or abandoned by God.
We felt pain. We longed for things to be different. We prayed for miracles. We loved him so much. But, God's plan was different than what we thought to be best. Hard. Yes, hard to say my plan to hold onto him was not His plan.
This many years later, (he died April 29, 2004-age 6) I can see how God opened our hearts and family to welcoming Lucas. I'm not sure we would have been open had Jacob survived or never gotten sick. That's really hard to admit. When you feel you have life all figured out and you are "done"...just be careful...because God may want you open to something else..something that may be hard and make you uncomfortable.
Our journey with Lucas is also a hard journey. We can see how much God has done to transform this orphan into a member of our family. But, that doesn't mean it is an easy road. God never promised "easy". He just said cling to ME! So that's what we will continue to do.
So we remember. We cherish. We continue to love.
To God Alone Be the Glory Forever and Ever...AMEN!
Happy 15th Birthday Jacob son!