"You guys will remember this Spring Next Year"

My head is swirling with thoughts, prayers, and planning for mom.  Being tossed into the craziness of medical stuff and decision making and all that accompanies walking a parent through their final journey, is quite a full time job.  But, I would not trade each moment for the world.  Right now we are in the midst of finding Assisted Living for mom.  And many other decisions are in process.  I know a lot of people have walked this road before me.  I know people do it every day.  But, once again as I'm experiencing something for the first time, it's all new to me.  Yet in some ways it's also familiar.  I'm not really afraid.  But, my sentimental soul wants to not miss a single beat.  It's as if every day and every moment should be preserved.  I have loads of ideas on how we could move through these days.  But, honestly there is only so much time.  And it's Not all about ME!  Working on preserving mom's wishes and dignity and not setting out with my own agenda's...well that's hard sometimes.

Simply serving and not complaining.
That's hard too.

I feel like I want to grab hold of every ounce of air mom breathes as if she is some sort of prophet in her own right.  I find myself in a place where I am searching for the next thing to do to preserve her in any way I can.

In some ways she has gotten stronger, but in others weaker.

A sweet thing happened last night.  I brought along the scrapbook she and I started working on in 2007 all about her.  She just lit up and began telling my sister and I the stories of the pictures all over again.  And she didn't miss a beat.  Ok.  Maybe one beat when she read something SHE had written in it, and then reread it as if she had never read it before about 2 minutes later.  It was so sweet.

We also pulled out an old old school project she had made in high school.  Probably around 1945.  She loved to look at that and tell us all about how she LOVED interior design ideas and putting things in place around the home.  I just love entering into her world. I love grabbing for life and trying to absorb the most we can.  She even discredited herself for creating the project because she said, "I'm not that smart"...=)

Last night she said something and both my sister and I caught, although we didn't say anything out loud.
It started snowing.
And mom looked outside and said, "look at that!"...(yes it was April 12 but we are in Wisconsin and in the longest winter I have ever seen in my life).
Then she said this very prophetic simple little thing:"You

"You guys will remember this Spring next year".

we let those words just settle.
But the reality is....She said "you guys" not "we" will remember this spring.

Tender moments.
Simple words.
Big implications.

These things slip through once in a while.  And we take a deep breath.
not much more to say than that.
It will definitely be a memorable Spring momma.