Living without her just Stinks!
I haven't blogged much in the past several months partly because it's been such a whirlwind of trips back and forth to Wisconsin. Officially, I spent 55 days there from March to June and then we made one more 10 day trip back in July for some final family time up there. So it's been a lot of days in Wisconsin this Spring/summer.
Let me just say, losing the second parent is a bizarre thing. Losing one is one thing, but when they are both gone. So weird.
Now that I'm back to "normal life" (ha ha ha ha) I find myself missing those little calls I used to make to her. For example, Lucas started school yesterday, but I couldn't call her and tell her. She would have been so excited. And her personality was always such that the smallest or biggest things just made her so happy. At her funeral people commented at how she lit up a room with her smile and her laughter.
I can't quite reconcile the harshness of death and the lightness of her spirit and life. So, I choose to remember those happy sweet mama moments and cherish them.
And now life moves forward.
School has started for Lucas.
Isaac is doing his own school work and continues to take tests to move toward starting college next Fall.
Peter is trying to make up for lost time with work.
I'm attempting to get this house back in order.
I have to admit I'm tired. And feel like there's a lot to do around here to make sure our house is in order...spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, etc.
Big things are on the horizon for us.
Isaac and Peter are taking a trip to Thailand in September to do some mission work with a long time college friend of ours for 2 weeks. Lucas and I will stay home. I really want to go, but realize that it's a bit of a catch 22. Going overseas to serve orphans while you leave your own "former orphan" alone at home with someone for 2 weeks, seems a bit backwards. And I think this is a good trip for Peter and Isaac to be on -- Father/Son-- this Fall. I will be at home praying over them continually.
There may be another trip coming up in November for us also (still under wraps a bit). That one Lucas may be able to come along for, but Peter would stay home.
Once again Pastor Louie is challenging us to ponder "Who Am I?" (book of Ephesians study).
He chose us IN HIM and has always had His eye on us. He has always been intentional toward us so that He might dwell in us by His Spirit. We are the Church in Christ Jesus. The Truth is we are loved sons and daughters that God planned since before time began. He brings the dead to life. And He breathes life into us. It's ok if we have weaknesses because it gives Him room to show HIS glory, not ours. If He can use this fragile imperfect pot of clay to do His service, then the Glory goes 100% to Him. It's no longer "look what I can do" but it's all about what He can do. God even transformed Paul from a killer of Christians to a man who preached Jesus to the world. We need to be Open to hearing from God. Let His breath breathe life into us.
We ended the gathering on Sunday with Louie giving us a little time and permission to sit quietly to hear from the Lord.
I heard "Be Open"
Peter heard "Stop running"
Stay tuned for details on What The Lord Can Do!