My Family

My Family
Summer 2015

Saturday, September 22, 2012

An interesting encounter at a Chinese Restaurant

Tonight we went to a local chinese takeout restaurant.  We typically order in and don't actually stay at places like that, but we just decided to eat there.
The lady behind the counter was ... Chinese...I know not surprising.
But, she was very interested in Lucas and began a series of rapid-fire questions to him that began to make him feel very uncomfortable.
She attempted to speak chinese and he didn't want anything to do with it.
She asked if he was chinese, and before I could think I answered for him and said "yes".  He does not like it when I do that.  He wants to be an American.  Probably because he IS an American.  He is not a fan of chinese people.  We are trying to work through that.

She came back with more questioning.  She asked about his legs and again, I answered for him ( this is all in less than a minute)..argh..I'm gonna get this really I am.  I just said he had surgery, but he did NOT want that lady to know anything about him.

He turned the questioning back on her and said,
"Do you believe in Jesus?"...

She got kind of a serious look on her face and went silent--
for a moment but not long.
It was a serious question and one he often asks people he doesn't know.  He is very concerned about people knowing Jesus, and he is pretty certain there are no chinese people that know about him.  So when he asked her I know it was because he is trying to figure out if all people in America know Him --even Chinese Americans.

She started to drill him with more questions about china, where he lived there, etc.
Then she asked if we had to "pay china" for him.  I was shocked!
I've never had someone come right out and ask these bold questions especially in front of him.
She went on to ask how long we waited.
She was very curious why he would be available for adoption since he was a boy.

It was getting really uncomfortable.  And Lucas was becoming visibly uncomfortable and he would not look at her when she was talking.  We told him he needed to be kind but he did not have to answer any questions he didn't want to answer.  I finally got a clue and stopped answering questions for him and deferred all questions about it to him--at least the ones he could answer.   He told her he didn't like china.  She asked if he would go with her if she went back to visit sometime (sort of in a "harmless" sort of way) but he was pretty bold about saying "NO"!

I sort of felt like I was in China again when all the people stood around us at very close range -- no such thing as "personal space" there--.  She wanted to be in our business.  It was uncomfortable.
In the end, I want Lucas to know he needs to be polite.  He doesn't ever have to answer questions he doesn't want to answer (I'll keep my mouth shut if necessary).  But, mostly that he does not need to be afraid--especially if we are there with him.

We will help him navigate.

No comments:

Post a Comment