What does that mean?
If we had waited in line for our non-special-needs referral from China we would be getting a referral right now for a baby girl. China has just arrived at our "date" or our "position" in line for a referral -- IF we had waited and not gotten Lucas.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that we did the right thing in bringing Lucas into our family. And several months ago I realized how long it would be before we would have gotten a referral. The special needs program operates differently and has a different set of rules and wait time than non special needs and "girl as young as possible".
But, today, I feel a little sad for some reason. It's all about having a greedy heart or something.
I wish I could have both!
Now having Lucas for a year, it would have been so great to add that little girl.
My heart breaks, but at the same time, I know she was never meant for us--it's just weird to think about. When we started the process and had such a heart for "her", it seemed so right. Isn't that weird? Now I waiver between thinking she is now someone else's little girl and she was never meant to be ours in the first place.
It would have been 5 1/2 years of waiting. That's insane. I know God's Sovereignty is all over this. But, I'm still grieving a little bit. I waited for that little girl...for a long time. And it will never happen now.
It would have been 5 1/2 years of waiting. That's insane. I know God's Sovereignty is all over this. But, I'm still grieving a little bit. I waited for that little girl...for a long time. And it will never happen now.
Yes I'm also 5 years older---not sure a "baby" was what we needed in our house right now. I guess that is why God is in Control and I am not. I'm not suppose to understand it all.
How different your life would be had you waited. Just when we think we know God's plans for our lives, he goes and changes it!
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