My Family

My Family
Summer 2015

Monday, March 28, 2011

We have our precious boy...

The good news is he was very attached to his nannies, teachers, and director of the orphanage.  The flip side....4 hours of none stop screaming until, at about 7:15 pm we put on a cd that we have of chinese phrases and told him "We are going to take good care of you" he then asked for a pillow, his blanket and he took off his coat and laid it on top of his pillow and basically passed out.

It was a very rough 4 hours and I anticipate more tomorrow, but eventually, it will get better.   Our room has a HUGE window that goes all the way to the floor.  We are on the 17th floor overlooking the parking lot and street in front of the hotel.  He's been sitting by that window most of the afternoon and evening, staring out of it as he "plays" (or screams).   He's preciously trying to communicate with us, and we are just not getting it.  We can say a few phrases, but we can't understand what HE is saying to US. Fortunately we have the English teacher who kindly listened to him 2 times in phone conversations and tried to explain his new life to him.  In one of the conversations, he told her that the nanny told him she would bring the children in the orphanage to America to visit him.  UGH!!!! THAT does not help us!! She was a precious woman when we met her today, but I was afraid of letting her talk to him alone too much because I have heard of things like this in the past.  He wants the kids to come here NOW.  So frustrating.  Also, the director of the orphanage thought it would be a good idea to give his phone number to him and tell him he could call at anytime.  I tried 3 times and nobody answered.  argh!

He just woke up...that was a short nap about 15 minutes---but he's totally quiet.  It looks like he's packing everything in sight and is planning a trip.
He's definitely a man of order.   And he wants things to be put away.  If we give him something, he puts it in his backpack and doesn't eat it, or play with it.

The language barrier is tough.  I knew it would be the hardest part.  But, didn't anticipate the screaming crying and trying to tell us things and how hard that would be.  We do know several phrases were being repeated, namely something about his caretakers.  It will come.  It will come.

here are the "good" things.  He's totally adorable.  And we know he was attached to those who cared for him, which actually is a very good sign.  That means he likely will be able to attach to us--- eventually.    He is a man of order.  He looks me straight in the eye when he wants to talk to me---this is amazing for a kid who's lived in an orphanage.  Normally eye contact is a huge issue.  Along with the screaming and apparent stubborness and pounding of his fists this afternoon---we know he has a fighting spirit, which is good for all he may have to face in the coming months with surgeries, etc.  We are experienced with stubborn kids, so God has prepared us to deal with that streak.  (although today we really didn't do much about it, because today it was more about grief, fear, anxiety, etc.--)

Some sweet blessings that he came with:
1.  a copy of his finding ad--this is part of the process when kids are brought to the orphanage.  An ad is put in the local paper to see if anyone will claim this child--(typically nobody claims them)  This is a part of his history, so we wanted it and not everyone gets it.
2.  The teacher bought him 2 big books of the city where he comes from.  He LOVES these books and immediately showed them to us.
3.  The orphanage director sent him along with a beautiful jade dragon which is symbolic of his city as well.  It is the first jade dragon (i need to learn more about this piece)  It's a momento for him to keep for his entire life.  So precious that the director would care so much.  Symbol
4.  They gave us the blanket he was found in as an infant.  It's a simple pink quilted baby blanket.  A very sweet, tender, amazing part of his history as well.  He seems to recognize it, so I wonder if he's had it all his life.
5.  Joni- the teacher sent along 4 necklaces from his province--one for each of us. (right now he has claimed them as his own, so we'll see if any of the rest of us get to wear them..=)  this would make us a Chifeng family....

He is still quiet as a mouse as I'm writing this.  It's like a switch just turned him off at 7:30 and he's been silently taking things out of his backpacks, etc. folding things, putting them away, looking at them.  I'm ok with this...I was worried for the people in rooms next to us tonight, but right now he's good.  God is good...we prayed over him and Peter sang "Jesus Loves Me" and "I love you Lord" to him.  God has given him a sweet peace right now.  And his pleasure seems to be had with organizing everything.

Please keep his tender broken heart in all of your prayers.  The communication will be our biggest challenge for now.  He will see the nanny and director again tomorrow briefly.  Pray that we don't start all over again.

Oh, you probably want to know about his little legs...Well, they ARE little, but we have not seen them bare yet to see what condition.  We are not attempting any of that tonight.  He's walking, but I'm not exactly sure how.  One is very bent at about the knee level, and the other just very short (for those that don't know, his paperwork says he is missing the fibula in both of his legs--this may require amputation from the knee down and prosthetics--we need to see U.S. physicians to decide what our next steps will be with that.)

So there you go.
Our first update with him as part of our family.

This is the nanny he loves so much.  She loves him too.

Peter, Heidi, Lucas, Isaac, Director, CCAA officer, Nanny

A hard day for a sweet boy

not much I could do to console his broken heart but wipe a thousand boogers and tears

and then .... there was silence

and then there was "organizing" and silence....


  1. he is precious...and i know it is ripping your hearts out to see him grieve so. we will be praying for tomorrow--that the small scabs formed today wouldn't rip open tomorrow. that God would grant you all rest and peace tonight. and that God would give you supernatural insight as you try to communicate. love you guys.

  2. Oh sweet, sweet, precious heart breaks for how his is breaking. He is just beautiful and his eyes seem to tell so much about his heart. His eyes are "alive" - to suffering and sorrow yes - but also to the love of a family and a connection. I'm praying he'll let you all in quickly and that Christ will translate for you. I pray you three will learn his language and longings at a ridiculous, only-God-could-do-it pace and that he will learn yours. I can only imagine how much you want to hold him in your arms and rock him in comfort. We're all praying and trusting God for "abundantly more than all you could ask or imagine"!

  3. My friend. Weeping. So sad. So sweet. So hard. So good. You are the perfect mom for this son. Your tenderness and patience are such a gift to him. As is your husband's strength and isaac's heart. You all are gifted with such perception and sensitivity to the Spirit. Praying for a healing that binds you all tightly. Hard not to be there, feel as if we are watching from behind a glass window. But thank you thank you thank you for allowing us into this place.

  4. Congratulations! I am so happy for you that Lucas is with you now. You are wise to know that he needs time to grieve those who he will miss. It must have felt strange for him to not have his friends with him for the first time in his life. It's good that he wa able to express himself with strangers. My goodness, how frustrating for him to not be able to be understood when he talks to you. It will come (like you said). Thankfully, his new parents have plenty of patience and will work very hard to understand!

  5. Our prayers and love for all of you. Everyone is right God found the perfect parents for this little boy.

  6. My heart breaks for him. I hope that the love that it is him comes out in patience and understanding. God bless you guys for your heart.

    I don't know if it will help but try some baby sign language. It helped with Riley although she was 2 years old. Those first couple of days are tough. Expect no smiling and very little interaction. It took Riley about 3-4 days before she smiled at us. We are praying for you guys.

  7. Congratulations!! Thank you so much for the update and we continue to pray for and with you! Lucas must be so confused, but LOVE will take care of that over time. I can still remember Abby's incredibly mournful crying when she woke up in our room and saw that we were still there. I am always amazed at how these wonderful children bond quickly and no doubt Lucas will as well! Give him the space and time he needs and he will love you as much as we do! Ok Peter, I said it. I love you man! Lets hug it out! Have a great 2nd day and can't wait to hear about it! - Love you all!

  8. Wow! Words cannot say how glad I am you are all together. I just have such an incredible PEACE about you being together. I am praying God give it to Lucas. The journey, as you know, will be long, but it is together! I got an immediate and non-stop song running in my head since I read this post. Michael W. Smith "Be Strong and Courageous". You are some of the most courageous people I have ever had the privilege to know. Prayers and love from Sheila, Mark, Daniel, and Lynn.

  9. Ok. Have to be honest. John just heard about Lucas and his love for organizing and folding. John's words, "I can't wait to teach him how to iron!!" John really believes that Lucas will be just fine once the two of them have a chance to fold and organize together.

  10. have been listening to this (on repeat) and keep praying it for your family...
    "Healing is in Your Hands" Christy Nockels
    No mountain, no valley, no gain or loss we know
    could keep us from Your love
    No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough
    to keep us from Your love
    to keep us from Your love

    How high, how wide
    No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
    How deep, How strong,
    And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

    Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands
    We're covered by Your blood
    We're covered by Your blood

    In all things we know that, we are more than conquerers
    You keep us by your love

    don't totally know why, but just felt the need to share. love you.

  11. So bitter sweet for him...he is beautiful, even in sadness. It will get better, as you know kids are very resilient. (I can't spell). Once the stages of shock and grief are done, you will all feel better. Love, kisses and huge hugs from all the schneiders.

  12. Thank you for posting, he is such a cute kid and I love the "spunk."
    Will keep praying...
    Sending much love to all of you.

  13. O My Goodness, What you have all been through!
    I pray Peace filled hearts for you and for Lucas. He is such a beautiful boy. Sad that they haven't prepared him better for his new future and family. It must be terrifying. You are right - It will come. Jesus is with you.
    How blessed he is in you. Someday he will say it. Love to all.