My Family

My Family
Summer 2015

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Did you ever.....look in the mirror....and see....

One of your parents?

I mean really.
Who do you look like?
And do you see a particular parent when you look in the mirror?

For some reason the past few months when I look in the mirror I see my dad.
Particularly in the morning when I wake up and also have no make-up on (thank goodness).
I need some hair coloring right now too which makes me look "older" cuz the grey is showing.  I don't really remember him without grey hair.

My daddy also died 7 years ago and I miss him.  So when I look in the mirror I think of him a lot lately.

I've just started noticing it, and it's a little creepy.  But, in another way it's sort of cool.
My conscious memories of my dad are at about this age.  He was about 40 when I was born and I am now 46.  So, yes it's probably the younger version of him that I remember which I am seeing, but it's still bizarre.  I'm hitting that place where I notice things are not the same on my face (and other places) as they were even a few years ago.  Weird stuff like my face looks like it's falling off my bones.  It's just not like it should be.  I'm beginning to understand the term "face LIFT"...
But, even my eyes, my lips suddenly are starting to look more like him.

This led me to another thought.

When Lucas looks in the mirror at an older age, who will he see?  I'm not sure if he will wonder or care. He has not made any comments or asked any questions like that yet because I'm not sure he really understands yet how all of that works.
Once he starts to really hear people say things like "you look like your mom" or "You have your daddy's eyes"...will he notice? and will it make a difference?
We will deal with it at that time, but all these sightings I've been having in the mirror just made me think about that.
Another unanswered piece of his life.
And then I grieve just a little more for him.
Maybe if I grieve these things for him now, he won't have to go through it later...  that's how it works, right???  
(double ha)

So, when you look in the mirror....who do you see?


  1. i wonder about that too for benjamin. remind me to tell you what i've been learning about grieving.

  2. I see my mom, even in my mannerisms. It is scary because I always said I'd be nothing like her, but I am. I'm sure the same will happen to my bio children. It is good in a way, this coming full circle. Yet, we age, we realize our own mortality.

  3. Hmm... I see an older me, wife, mom, child of God. Never knowing what my biological parents looked like only ever bothered me when I was 13 and the family discussions seemed to center a lot on who had who's eyes and chin and so on. I felt left out. On the other hand, when they found out who I was, people often said things like, "Oh, I should have known, you look just like your mom." Mom and I would look at each other and chuckle - it was our own private joke! Sometimes we would let them in on it and sometimes not!