I got a note from a sweet friend this morning asking how we were and financially how things were. I responded to here telling her with all honesty how it’s tough and complicated. I’m just being vulnerable here people...
at 6:26 a.m. I wrote this to one of my dear friends...
“He has been getting some work with both insurance and construction jobs. But, won't get paid for another month or more. We've made our last mortgage payment and paid the bills we can pay, and there isn't much left. as in we won't be able to pay the next one if the timing doesn't work out.
We are probably going to ask ** for money AGAIN! I just don't know how much longer we can keep doing that. ** are tapped out. ** is willing to keep giving, but that is not the way to live either. It's rough.
I would love to have a regular paycheck (as would he). Just a job that shows security, has full benefits, etc. My man deserves it. (ok, none of us technically "deserve" anything--but I hope you hear my heart in that). I'm dealing with my own issues of looking for security in that, and not wanting to live on the edge all the time. But, I just don't know how/where he can get a regular job.
Sorry if I verbally "vomitted"...
I'm just laying it out there people. Just sayin' I struggle and am seeking the Lord on His perspective on this whole thing.
and 32 minutes later.....in my inbox at 6:58 am this devotional came...
Could God be any more obvious? These devos are on ALL topics, not just finances. And they just show up everyday in my inbox...I highly recommend them but some days---God just Blatantly reveals Himself like today...It’s like He wrote a letter directly to my questions...Sometimes this stuff just blows me away. I really didn’t make this one up...and I did NOT write it. (although it’s almost verbatim what I was struggling with)
Also, I'm doing a Bible study right now on "Discerning the Voice of God"----I would say, he uses things like this to shout out to me...
Daily Hope (daily email devos)
by Rick Warren
God Can Provide Through Any Faucet
“But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.” Deuteronomy 8:18 (NIV)
The Bible teaches that God is the source of our finances. He is the one who provides for our needs.
What does this mean? It means that, instead of looking to my employer for financial security, I look to God. It means that, instead of looking at my savings account for financial security, I look to God. It means that I don’t look to anyone or anything other than God to provide for my needs.
Let me illustrate it this way: When I turn on the water, I know the water doesn’t actually come from the faucet. The water comes through the faucet. The water is actually from a reservoir, and the way I happen to receive it is through the faucet.
In the same way, the income that God wants to give you may come through a job or through something or someone else.
But the source is always God.
We don’t need to worry about which faucet God uses to supply our needs. In a sense he says, “If I turn off one faucet, I can just as easily turn on another. If you lose one job, I can give you another. I am your source, not your job. I am your source, not your bank account.”
Worry reveals the places where you are not trusting God. Ask God to help you understand what causes you to not trust him, and ask him to teach you to start trusting him. Look for how he does that. In addition, when you start to worry, talk to God about your concerns.”
Not much more to say today...God is the source--I will go to battle over releasing my lack of trust back over to Him. After all these years, why is it still a struggle? On my knees AGAIN! Seeking His face---not only seeking answers. Seeking the "source" and all that He is about.