Few and far between

We really have not had many meltdowns over the past several weeks.
Yesterday...
Meltdown

After a day like that, I always analyze.

My turn to ask "why"?

"What brought it on"

"What should we do in the midst of it?"

"Could it have been avoided?"

Factors to consider:
I was at work,
our school routine had been disrupted yesterday
he didn't eat well in the morning (late morning) and this happened mid afternoon--before "lunch"
He hasn't "done school" with anyone but me--and dad was subbing yesterday.
the discussions we have been having the past several days about death/Jacob
his hope to go to a friend's house yesterday that didn't work into the schedule

The interesting part about it is after it's all over, he tests everyone in the house for limits and when he finds them, he is a happy camper.  When the line is drawn, he relaxes.  We had a really great eye to eye contact chat as he was getting ready to go to sleep.  It was like nothing ever happened.  Weird to me, but he was composed.

So many questions
and sometimes no very good answers but we try to learn from any mistakes we make and also try not to repeat some of our responses which are not always perfect.  I think the biggest thing we need to consider is that schedules and routines need to be very intentional.  (i'm not so good at that-just a little too spontaneous sometimes)

In the end...I also think that a boy just "needs" a screaming fit once in a while to work things through.  We just need to find a healthy way to allow it.
He really is communicating better and better all the time, his demeanor has calmed overall, his hyper vilitgant behaviors are reducing, so when it happens now it just stands out more.  The truth of the matter is that he still has been through a lot in the past 5 months.  I think if I were him, I would be having fits a lot more often than he does.

I have been reading more and more about something called "Strong Sitting" and I think I'm going to use it starting today.  It is NOT a punishment, but insteead a way to refocus and calm the brain before the crisis hits--sort of like Yoga.  Here is a video of some kids deomonstrating it.

I seriously don't think he has RAD--he doesn't have those type of symptoms,  but I think it's still a good calming therapy.  It's done 1-3 times a day.  It allows him time to just refocus and use both sides of his brain.  I think I will do it with him (although I don't think I should sit there for 46 minutes--my age--even if my eyes were open I think I'd fall asleep).  I'll keep you posted on it's results.