So, lest anyone believe that adoption and Lucas are synonymous with a smooth and perfect life....uh hum...not so much. We have our "days" and today was one of them. I won't go into too much detail, but it started out rough and had it's bumps and kinks. I leave this day with several thoughts
1. How do you teach someone who really has never "owned" anything himself, to respect property, including things you would expect him to cherish?
2. How do you teach someone that screaming in someone's ear is painful and hurts?
3. How do you teach someone that spitting in the face of those you love is unaccepatable?
4. How many times do you have to repeat yourself to "get through" to "someone"?
And then I realize....
1. If I really think about how many times I take the "things" God has given me for granted.
2. If I really think about how many times I "spit" in the face of God by not loving him the way I "should".
3. If I really think about how many times my actions probably sound like "screaming" and hurt Him deeply?
4. If really think about how often God has to repeat Himself to me for me to "get it"...
My heavenly Father has "adopted" me into his family--I am His own child. He does not distinguish me in the Inherhitence as "the adopted one"...like it's some sort of lesser position. I am FULLY His. He has given me a place in His kingdom for Eternity, yet I must sound so stubborn, sassy, self-absorbed, and deaf to Him sometimes. I mean really.
So I leave this day
I may not have handled it perfectly. Certainly no where near how My Heavenly Father would have done it as a parent. Ugh!
But, just as Lucas left this day with "I'm sorry Momma"...I too say "I'm sorry Daddy" for the way that I have treated you poorly today, or not shown the respect I should have. And as I left Lucas today--telling him "I Love You Lucas"....so my Heavenly Father also says "I love You!"....Somehow today it has a whole different meaning.
Thanks for listening to my honesty....it is a bit hard to admit.