Yesterday marked "one week" pre surgery. Lucas still remains a little anxious. Totally understandable.
But, yesterday I got to another level with him when we talked and I realized he thought that he would feel it when they cut off his feet. YIKES!!! I tried explaining "being put to sleep" etc. He seemed very relieved by that.
His behavior this past few days has been touchy. I think it relates to a huge major meltdown and bad parenting moment I had on Saturday (up too late, and major meltdown), but also to some inner anxiousness for the upcoming surgery. He hasn't verbalized it throughout the day when he is being edgy. But, I can imagine it is something lingering in his head and he just doesn't quite know how to bring it up and process it. So we will continue to open the door for discussion.
Last night when he was with Ms. Amy, he had a discussion with her and long story short, he told her that since he has been sick 4 times (with fevers from the immunizations, etc.) and that he is going into the hospital, that he thinks he might die like Jacob. YIKES!!!!!!! We will be discussing that some more today...That needs some serious clarification. Sweet Amy reassured him that was NOT the case but how does he really know?
Tomorrow we also go to Shriners for our pre-op appointment. I'm hoping when he "sees" what it is all about and it is explained to him by the doctors some more he will be reassured of a few things.
Please pray for peace for our little man. A peace that surpasses understanding so he does not have to live in fear or anxiousness these next several days.
He still wants to do the surgery, but he is undersandably getting anxious. Time to be done already!